Why My 85 Year-Old Grandmother Thinks Everyone Is Bisexual

My grandma loves talking politics with me and since the topic of gay marriage has been the focus of widespread media attention lately, we sat down to discuss all the hype. She believes gay marriage should just be called marriage and finds it problematic calling it “gay” marriage because she doesn’t believe in classifying people based on sexual preference. Why not? Because, grammy suspects that all humans are bisexual by nature. “People can become gay, then they can become heterosexual.” According to grammy, it all depends on our stage of life, circumstances, and who we meet. She cited as an example her friend Fran, who had been married (to a man) for most of her life. The two of them loved the theater and would see every Broadway show that came out. After her husband died, Fran was extremely lonely. At her age, there were far fewer suitable, eligible men available to her than there had been decades earlier. She eventually met another woman who shared her interest in theater, and a few months and many shows later, a romance blossomed.

Grammy says that Fran needed a companion who appreciated theater as much as she did. The person she found a connection with was another woman, and voila! Her lesbian side emerges. If a suitable man had come along first, the homosexual part of Fran's nature would remain hidden, or untapped, she contends.

May the best man or woman win!

Hubba-WHAHHH???

I can be suggestible at times, so I’m nodding along, trying to follow her train of logic, squinting all the way through. But it didn’t sound right.

There may be some of us out there who value one trait above all others and will fall prey to the person, male or female, who best exemplifies it. For example, if you hold beauty as the highest ideal, you may fall for the prettiest guy or gal, whichever killer smile comes your way first. What if it’s sense of humor? Enter the wittiest male or female who seduces you with charm. In the story grammy related, it was the man or woman who most loved theater. Who can get to you first?

But in general, do we fall for a trait or is the elusive thing that causes us to be attracted to a person contingent on gender?

Most of my friends tell me they have a list of ideal traits, but in order to get in the door for consideration, the person has to be the right gender. I suspect that's how it is for most people, but who knows? One thing's for sure, though: I've got a hip grammy!